Chain Updates

I hate chain updates...

They used to be called "chain mail". Those were the good ole' days when you could see the subject and delete it ASAP... But now they come in status updates or pictures. Plastered all over your Social Network. They sit there gazing at you through the depths of the insanely stupid. 

- "Now that you have started reading this you must finish or...."

Guess what? Nothing happens.

But they keep coming. You're just forced to read and shake your head. My neck is kinked...

- "You will be cursed for the next ten years by...."

Your mom? Because if you don't stop updating your status with bullshit I'm going to kick you in the face. That may piss her off. So I guess you're right. Sorry I didn't forward your crap.

If those aren't bad enough you also have the fake statistics... 

- "My puppy died! I know 99% of you won't have the guts to re-post this..."

You're wrong. I have the guts. I just don't give a shit. I don't give a damn about your random picture of your ugly smelly dog with your random fake statistic. I am your fake as shit 99%... Deal with it.

Or the 

- "Like if you care, ignore if you don't"

Seriously? I'm pretty sure my mom doesn't give a fuck if I scroll by your stupid picture that claims I don't love my mom if I don't re-post your stupid picture about loving my mom. I'm not clogging up my media with your stupid "like whore" bullshit.

And last but definitely not least you have the "re-post without facts". These ones can be pretty funny. Especially since they get a beating when it comes to Memes. But they have "chain status" plastered all over them. Though, to the ones who don't care about facts and only care about having a false sense of security these are gems of the Social Network scene.

- "Facebook is going to start making you pay for use unless you..." 

^ starts a riot while being a total lie

- "The galaxies are colliding and the end of the world is coming!"

^ starts a riot while missing key information (in four billion years)

But people keep believing in the shady lies of the internet. And until the planet becomes more informed we can all continue to have a laugh (or tear) at their expense. Or we can just wait until the world ends. Which ever comes first.

*If you are a poster of chain updates... We need to talk*