Sandy

Since we are currently in the D.C area... We are starting to meet up with Sandy...

Sounds nice huh? Like we are having a friend over for dinner... "Yes dear, Sandy will be here by about 8:00... Should I set the table?". Only this friend is a bitch.

I don't understand the names of hurricanes. They sound like they could be a close friend. I saw one once that had the name of my brother. It was the only fitting hurricane name I've seen to date....

The hurricanes themselves are about as unfitting as their names. They are massive, powerful storms. But they are giant pussies. They move so fucking slow that you could get away from them even if you didn't have a car. Just run fast and you're fine... And if you get far enough inland, they won't chase you because the lazy bitch will get tired and fizzle out...

I always wonder how hurricanes actually kill people. Because people are idiots, that's how. Here you are sitting in your safe little nook away from the storm watching the news and you see assholes on the beach screaming because the waves are 20 feet high, then they wonder why they are about to die? Because you're an idiot, that's why... You had seven fucking days to get as far away from the beach as possible, and you decide to go to the fucking thing? Of course you're going to die! Natural selection wins. Moron.

I used to live in Missouri... Tornadoes were pretty common. Now that is a storm... Those fucking things can wake your ass up at night sending you running for the basement just to whip right by you and not do a thing... Ten minutes later you're back in bed... Not sleeping. Son-of-a-bitch. So the next time you just stay in bed, you know, the one time you should have been in the basement... Now you're fucked, you better be right with Jesus.

Really, now that I think about it, pretty much any storm is more impressive than a hurricane... Unless you live in Hawaii. You're all fucked. Unless you own a plane.

I'd like a plane.